You can chase your dreams and still be a devoted parent. Here’s how to find that healthy balance.

As parents of little ones, we often carry a quiet pressure: to give our children everything, to be endlessly patient, and to set aside our own dreams until “later.” Many mums and dads silently wonder—if I want more for myself, does that make me selfish?

The truth is, wanting more for yourself—whether it’s a career goal, more balance, a hobby you love, or simply some quiet time—doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. And, more importantly, it can actually help your child thrive.

According to the Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF), children’s development is strongly shaped by the wellbeing and sense of identity of their caregivers. When parents are fulfilled, confident, and balanced, children grow up seeing that as normal and possible for themselves too.

Here are three reminders to help shift the way you see “aspiring for more.”

1. Your growth fuels their growth.

Children learn far more from what we model than from what we say. If they see you pursuing a goal—whether that’s finishing a course, starting a small business, or running your first 5K—they see firsthand what it looks like to set intentions and follow through.

This doesn’t take away from your parenting; it adds richness to it. You’re showing your toddler that learning and striving don’t stop when you grow up.

2. Filling your cup isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

It’s impossible to pour from an empty cup. When you constantly put your own needs last, exhaustion and frustration eventually creep in.

Taking time for yourself—even small pockets—actually allows you to show up with more patience and energy for your child. As one Australian early childhood expert, Professor Louise Marbina, highlights in her work on wellbeing in early years, “children flourish when the adults in their lives are emotionally available and attuned.” To be emotionally available, we need to be resourced ourselves.

3. Aspiration doesn’t mean absence.

Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re less devoted to your child. It simply means you’re also honouring yourself.

When you carve out time to nurture your identity beyond parenting, you return to your family with a stronger sense of purpose. That balance allows children to see you not only as “mum” or “dad” but as a whole person—something that supports their own developing sense of identity.

Aspiring for more doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a realistic one. By pursuing your own growth, you’re planting seeds of resilience, balance, and ambition in your child.

In the early years, our toddlers are watching us closely. When they see us value ourselves as much as we value them, they learn one of the most important lessons of all: that their worth doesn’t come from self-sacrifice, but from living fully.